An outline ate my story

I never had any respect for outlines. Still don't. It's not the outlines tough, it's me. Trust me, I've tried. I read all the advice on how to write outlines and how they should be used only as a guide. It's OK to stray from the outline as the story develops. That's what the experts, writers I trust and respect, keep telling me. But I can't do it. Once the outline is written I'm locked. I'm stuck in the arbitrary cause-and-effect of my creative whim. No matter how hard I try I can't diverge from the plan. It's written on the page. To alter it would be a betrayal of the creative process. I am such a wuss! I am actually intimidated by authority figures of my own imagination. My inner critic is nothing but an anal-retentive bureaucrat.