Time flies when your in a coma. Though whoever filled out the chart spelled it wrong. I woke up in the middle of the night and after a few minutes of confusion I realized I was in a hospital. I got up, took a wicked long piss, and found my chart.

The nurse came running in at the sound of my laughter. I couldn’t help myself, discovering that I’d spent a month in a comma. I said to the nurse, “Thank God it wasn’t a semicolon!” She didn’t laugh. I tried that joke on everyone who came in. Nobody laughed.