Jump Start

 Phil was never accused by his fellow parents of being overprotective, or for that matter, protective at all. If not for his wife, Carla, Little Bill would be completely feral. Despite what they said, he did however have a basic sense of safety for the child.

Such was the case on a sunny afternoon when Bill was in the garage riding his big wheel. The comforting sound of plastic rolling over cement suddenly stopped. Not too concerning, but then Phil thought he heard the squeaky springs of the car hood pop open. Not good.

On his way to the garage, he imagined several mostly harmless reasons for the sounds he heard. None of them were close to correct. There in the garage was Bill, standing on a step ladder, hooking jumper cables to the car battery.

The cable ran to the floor, where they were hooked to the head and left front paw of a dead squirrel. Phil told Bill, “That won’t work.” Bill asked why not, and Phil had no real answer, but figured a demonstration would be best, so he got in and started the car.

At first nothing happened, but then the squirrel started twitching. Phil was about to apologize for doubting Bill when the squirrel exploded. Phil shut off the car and tried to think of what he was going to tell Carla. The mess was cleanable, but the severed squirrel paw embedded in Bill’s thigh was problematic.