Grandma's Brandy

Grandma's lack of sense of proportion serves her well.

Caviar

Emily Post's worst nightmare

100 Words - Dream Journal

 

My therapist told me to keep a dream diary. A week later I had nine pages of details on my nightmares. Scary shit. She started glancing through and declared that it was fairly normal stuff. Then she came across the index and source references at the back.

Apparently getting in touch with my feelings is supposed to be a free-form mess of random thoughts. My therapist does not understand how painful it would be for me to not have structure. Maybe I need a new therapist.

Besides that, she always smells like cheese. Good cheese, but cheese none the less.

100 Words - Bop

 

Bop the teddy bear had too much stuffing. It was weighing him down. He needed someone to hug him so hard that some of the stuffing would come out. But Bop was an ugly teddy bear. Not the ugliest, but ugly none the less.

He tried throwing himself on the floor so that people would see him and pity him. “Oh you poor bear. Let me hug you and make you feel better.” Instead, everyone just kicked him out of the way.

Then the dogs found him. Keeping stuffing in was no longer a problem. Careful what you wish for.