No Time

Not everyone participates in the collective temporal construct.

100 Words - Guns N' Witches

 

The man with the gun was just a decoy. A lot of noise amounting to nothing. While everyone was dealing with him the witches slipped into the museum. Incantations and potions were deployed undetected.

At first nobody noticed the change, but slowly the customers stopped coming. Some complained of the museum’s new “creepy” feeling. Then the donors stopped donating. The joy had gone out of the galas. The art had lost it’s appeal.

The board members would for the rest of their lives regret rejecting that one witch’s painting. Some cried when the bulldozers came. The witches laughed and sang.

Toy Cow

100 Words - Dumb Teachers

 In fourth grade my teacher gave me a C on a short story because the main character was too antagonistic. That was the day I realized that I was smarter than my teacher, and that he hated me because of it. This became a trend.

In fifth grade, on a quiz, the teacher asked us to name a car named for an animal. I answered, Pinto. She marked me wrong because pinto is a kind of bean. I told her it was a type of pony, and that’s why the Pinto logo is a horse. Still said I was wrong.

Guilt

100 Words - S.A.D.

 

I sat in my car outside the bar waiting for my need for company to eclipse my introvertitude. It happened between beers four and five.

Inside the bar I was already too drunk to make any connection with anyone. The bartender was hesitant to serve me at first but saw that I’m a passive drunk so she kept them coming.

I used to be the creepy nerd who stared at women in bars, never saying anything. Now I’m the creepy old man who stares at women and says inappropriate things. They smile and walk away.

Closing time is lonely again.

100 Words - Fear The Future

 

I’m afraid of the future. If the past is any indicator, the future is going to be a shit storm.

They say that every day is a new horizon. Seriously though, the sunrise should not be chartreuse.

I tried looking on the bright side, but that turned out to be an explosion in which several good friends were maimed.

People say I should think positively. I do. I’m positive things are going to suck.

The tarot cards warned of my impending doom.

Now I’m looking for a cave to hide out in. A cave with good WIFI and cable TV.