100 Words – Betrays

Once again my body betrays me. Plans delayed, daydreams shelved. A three-pronged attack. Blood, bowels and joints. No bad cover band for me tonight. No beers. Always plural beers are. You can't have just one. Depression is knocking but I'm not letting it in. This is not a new problem. Gout plagued me when I was racing and has often kept me off the bike. Asthma destroyed many a comedy set. Now I'm getting older and don't expect things to get better. Soon I will see a doctor and have the meds I need to keep these ailments at bay.

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100 Words – Vampires and Whores

There are vampires lurking in the allies. There are whores in the streets and whiskey in the bars. Witches stand watching from the balconies above. I wish it was only Halloween. They say there is safety in numbers so I'm wandering, looking for a mathematician to save me. The trick is to keep an eye out for the slide rules. I was making my way west towards a cluster of thick-rimmed guys when I saw her. Our eyes met. She hesitated then turned away. I grabbed her arm. She stopped, not struggling and asked, "Do you know anything about logarithms?"

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RVing – Ambulance Visit

1/8/19

Another ambulance visited to RV park. I guess that's a regular thing here in retirement land. Good long bike ride today. Dinner from Boston Market. MMMM, tatoes!

1/9/19

Still waiting to hear back from the glass people about fixing the windshield. We're staying in the current park but we have to switch spots tomorrow.

1/10/19

We were supposed to move to another space today but they called and said the other people had canceled so we get to stay put. The new windshield will be here in 4 to 6 days.

1/11/19

Meeting neighbors. Watching RVs come and go. Walking the dog. Life in motorhome suburbia.

1/12/19

Temps in the upper 70's. So nice.

1/13/19

Pat and I both realized that we are feeling restless because we've been staying at parks too long. Time to start moving again. High Temp, 80 degrees, love Florida in January.

1/14/19

Cooled today, but still in the 60's. Today we talked about buying a car to tow behind the RV. The rental car fees are adding up.

PIX

[caption id="attachment_3686" align="alignleft" width="300"] These signs are common here but apparently the bears are not.[/caption] [caption id="attachment_3687" align="alignright" width="300"] Just a couple panels of the miles of painted fences along the bike trail.[/caption] [caption id="attachment_3688" align="alignleft" width="300"] Jerry and Sophia watch from their wooden moments in time.[/caption] [caption id="attachment_3689" align="alignright" width="300"] Caught in the act. After my protein bars again.[/caption]

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100 Words – Fake Real Phone

There once was a man named Yewboudar. He was a doctor who one day found that his entire life exposed on the internet. Everything down to the VIN on his Mercedes was posted for everyone to see. He tried going off the grid but found that impossible while still living in modern society. So he developed a plan. There was no real law against lying online. He created an entirely fictitious persona that he used for all "untrusted" sites. That's how I came to know him and his situation. He invented a fake phone number. It was my phone number.

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RVing – The Crack Grows

1/2/19

Last night the RV's toilet turned on us. Thankfully the internet was full of ideas and after a few of them we got it functioning well enough. Today I bought a snake and that seems to have cleared it up. The window crack is growing.

1/3/19

Today we drove to Sanford FL. Fortunately the window crack didn't get any bigger during the ride. We're just three miles from the repair place, so we should be all set.

1/4/19

Laundry day. Had to go out to a laundromat because the park only has four little washing machines. Got to talk to three guys who hang out outside the laundry every Friday night to try to meet all the hot women doing laundry. They've been doing it for nearly a year without success.

1/5/19

So it turns out that Sanford FL is site of a famous murder. Tourism is fun. Took Abigail to the dog park. She was very happy and met many dogs. We also drove by the very big lake. Very pretty. The hot humid weather is gone.

1/6/19

Avoid the Stake N' Shake in Sanford FL at all cost. I spent over 30 minutes in the drive through and they still got more wrong than right.

1/7/19

We went today to arrange to get the windshield fixed. The woman at the RV dealer looked at us like we were crazy. Turns out we have to call the insurance company first and let them handle all the details. Having never had a broken windshield before, how would we know this? We learn.

PIX

[caption id="attachment_3669" align="alignleft" width="300"] An angry cat guarding a grave[/caption] [caption id="attachment_3670" align="alignright" width="300"] Bad day for the neighbors[/caption] [caption id="attachment_3671" align="alignleft" width="300"] Sandy squirrel footprints. Protein bars still safe.[/caption] [caption id="attachment_3672" align="alignright" width="300"] A wonderfully friendly campground[/caption]

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100 Words – Sacred

I return once again to the sacred wooden altar of drink. The officiant blesses me with the usual sacrament. An industrial beer and no-name tequila are my communion. The blood and bile of Christ. On the juke box Patti Smith sings the holiest of the holy punk prayers. Around me the other pilgrims are lost in their own meditations. Weary wanderers like me. After three rounds of communion I am feeling the spirit move within me. The beautiful woman next to me is speaking in tongues. I arrive at the angelic spot between sobriety and unconsciousness. Still, epiphany eludes me.

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