100 Words - Hips

 

After meeting Jane, my junior high soon-to-be girlfriend, my mother commented that Jane had wide hips. I said, “OK.” She then explained to me that meant she was promiscuous. That women had narrow hips until they had sex. I blushed when she told me that.

I looked it up in the encyclopedia, but it wasn’t helpful. I asked my friends at school. They had never heard that before, but decided it sounded like a good thing.

So, despite my mother’s objection, I continued to hang with Jane, and spent the next several months proving my mother wrong. Hips do lie.

Travel vs. Family

A young man tries to convince his family that he isn't the crazy one

100 Words - Autistic Fantasy

 

There she was again, the woman at the bar. Larry approached her and tried his best to exude confidence, but his lack of acting skill betrayed him. He melted before the woman’s awesome visage. His inner critics laughed till he puked, then they laughed some more.

Then he looked up and she was still there, smiling. He turned and ran out of the bar. He stood trying to catch his breath and steady his nerves. Then there she was, standing next to him.

“You have the soul of a mighty warrior.” She touched his cheek. Give me your phone number.

100 Words - Not A Couple

We’d been friends for a long time, but never became a couple. We got drunk a few times and tried to mess around, but we were both control freaks and couldn’t open up enough to go through with it. We never got drunk enough. There was always too much baggage. Friendship at stake.

We planned a romantic date once. We both got all dressed up and went to the fanciest restaurant in town, the same night the Shriners were in town. The food was good there, but not wait two hours good. We wound up the best-dressed people at McDonald’s.

Dark Out There

Something is out there. Maybe.

100 Words - Impala

The biggest shock of my young life was when dad brought home the new family car and it was a black Chevy Impala. Yes, it was a station wagon, but it was an Impala. It has a cool 327 logo on the front fender. My father bought a cool car, and he didn’t even know it.

I never got to drive that car. New England winter roads won the rust race. I had to learn to drive in its replacement, a Ford Country Squire wagon. A powerful car, but nowhere near as cool as the Black Chevy Impala 327 wagon.