Short Story – The Phone Will Ring

Another sunrise. Another day of waiting. Sitting on the back deck with a line in the water drinking too many beers. It might help if I had bait or hooks or stuff like that, but I find that fishing is much more relaxing without all that catching fish business.

The phone will ring soon. Or later. Or never. Well, so far it has never not rang, but that is always a possibility. It will happen one day. The phone will never ring again and I’ll be stuck here pretending to fish and drinking beer for the rest of my life.

What if the phone doesn’t ring? I can’t just fish for the rest of my life. I’ll need a hobby. I could collect things. That sounds boring enough to kill me. Maybe I could watch every movie ever made. Maybe I could build things, as long as they’re not too hard to build.

I have a friend who builds paper cars. Most of them are pretty easy. A color printer, some scissors and some tape are all you need. When he first showed me his collection I assumed he was insane. Though when faced with the idea of never working again, I can almost see his point.

The problem with paper cars is that while they look cool and are easy to build they are ultimately worthless. My friend is zen enough, or zenough, to think that having a worthless hobby is a good thing. I’d prefer to do something of value I could pass on to the young ones.

Unfortunately, I don’t have any young ones. Nobody to carry on my legacy, which I also don’t have. I guess getting one of them wife people would have helped, but I never got the hang of those relationship things. Maybe paper cars wouldn’t be so bad.

So this is where the mid-life crisis is supposed to happen. Only it doesn’t, happen. Every time I get close to having one I’m overwhelmed with contentment. Then the phone will ring and I’m off on another job and become too busy to think about such things.

The problem is that I have no reason to worry, so I tend to be not very good at it. My brain doesn’t stick like other people’s. My brother has a wife, kids, a dog and a paid-for house, but he worries all the time. Me, I analyze things, decide on an action, then let it go.

Boy, I can spew some bullshit when I get rolling. If I didn’t worry, I wouldn’t be babbling on about not worrying. I’m not ready for this. Let the phone ring just one more time. I’ll prepare for next time. If it doesn’t ring, I’ll be ready.

Then the phone rang. A job. A long job. I won’t have to worry about the phone ringing for at least a year. Then what? I’ve been checking out paper car web sites, but haven’t mustered any interest. Maybe stamps. Maybe travel. Maybe hookers.

#shortstory

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100 Words – Dig

She tried to dig up the feelings I’d buried deep inside. It took a year of constant effort, but she finally wore me down. What she found destroyed her and landed me back in jail. Fortunately she escaped the apartment before any permanent damage could be done.

Why do people think that all feelings are positive? It’s not fair. I spent decades of hard work and therapy to make myself as normal as possible. Then she came along and made me love her. She couldn’t accept that parts of me are bad. She wanted the whole experience. She got it.

#100words

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100 Words – The Evil Path

Raul slowly came to accept the latent evil within him. It started small and slowly as a series of petty crimes. The abuse of ever larger creatures, from ants to squirrels to cats and dogs. The theft of objects belonging to his classmates and their parents.

Then came the felonies. Nice bicycles gave way to cars. Locks did not deter him for long. His shiny new gun avoided the need for physical violence. The women all knelt before him.

As he progressed unencumbered by any law or moral code he finally arrived at the ultimate sin, a career in politics.

#100words

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100 Words – Dance Alone

Watching you dance alone in the dark. Wishing I had the courage to dance with you. Knowing you would never say yes. You would most likely be kind, but the answer would always be no.

Go for it say my friends. They don’t know. They aren’t in love with you. They don’t know what I know. It will never happen.

This longing is killing me. The agony must be relieved. The source of this pain must be destroyed. I’m sorry that I have to do this. Forgive me. You’d never say yes. I will cry at your funeral. I promise.

#100words

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Tom Week – Winter in the South

1/2/20 – Patriots Fan in The South

We’re in Mobile AL, the land of Moon Pies and things hanging from strings. The owner of the park is an old guy with a Cajun accent so thick that even Alabamans can’t understand him. The funny thing is, he’s a Patriots fan.

1/3/20 – Hard Winter Rain

Fortunately we’re on a hill by the ocean. Lots of the inland lowlands are flooded. I’m getting a little anxious. I haven’t ridden my bike at all this year. Goal is 1200 miles, or 100 miles a month. I can do this. If the rain ever stops.

1/4/20 – Is is still Friday? No It’s Saturday.

Back in Florida, just east of Pensacola. I’m overflowing with testosterone today. I went to Home Depot AND Harbor Freight. I AM MAN!

There is another Winnebago Brave in the park. A red one. Tomorrow I will seek out the owner and we will bond.

1/5/20 – Task Day

Got a pile of little jobs done today. Too cold for a bike ride. I’ve stated work on some weird little videos. I’ll be posting them soon.

1/6/20 – Fall in Florida

We are in Bonifay Florida. It’s fall here. The ground is covered with fallen leaves. It’s very confusing.

We are also in the land of hills. Yes, hills in Florida.

Today at Walmart I got a reminder that we really are in Florida. These people were trying to jump start a car, only their jumper cables had no clamps on one end. The guy was holding the bare wires against the battery terminals, while smoking, and while his helper pulled the filler cap off the battery. I had to turn away because as our RV motto says, “I don’t want to have to testify.”

1/8/20 – Back in Perry

When I went into the office to check in the young woman behind the counter shouted, “Welcome back Mr. Flanders.” As my shock faded she explained that she recognized the Big Yellow Truck.

Today at Walmart I saw the weirdest thing in the clearance aisle, the Harry Potter Lego Advent Calendar. That’s a bizarre combination of words and ideas.

PIX

• 

  The first bike tune-up of the decade

• 

  A sad paddle boat in Alabama

• 

  We’re being followed by a bike shadow, bike shadow, bike shadow

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100 Words – Pearl Girl

Once upon a pearl a little girl did fall. Her skinned knee was ignored as she examined her new treasure. Her mother told her it was fake, but she knew it was real and important. She did not know that the murderer was very grateful she took it from the crime scene.

The police never found the missing woman. The little girl’s mother never connected the pictures in the paper with her child’s treasure. The luxurious strand of pearls draped over the woman’s chest belonged to another world. She never knew that she denied her daughter’s fifteen minutes of fame.

#100words

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